Our Map: The Shape of a Cross

By Pastor Randy


In 2006 I went through a terrible, life-altering circumstance that left me wondering what I should do next.

I had accrued over $120,000 in hospital debt. I was in shock. I had no idea how I would get through it.

Anxious and uncertain, I knelt in my bedroom and prayed for direction and wisdom.

Godโ€™s wisdom prevailed as He first led me to Philippians 4:19 which says,

“And the same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.โ€

That day I (was) determined to walk in Godโ€™s wisdom.

I went to the hospital and talked to the administrator.

Divinely, that person forgave my debt and miraculously assisted me with my additional expenses.

Thank You Lord! For this…because i admit i grew cold, just thinking of going to the Administrator! (rage i figure, fear?)

Praying about it, then moving forward, on it, in it-key here is, this person had a directive, from the Holy Spirit, in that Bible Verse coming up.

Bear in mind, that it may not be a Bible verse for you, yet clearly it may be, a thought, an inspiration, that did not occur to you before.

i always assumed these things, these thoughts, inspirations, were coming from me, B.C.

Especially since i was losing coherent thought (only noticed in the past year or 2, the Holy Spirit shows me, a lot longer than that), and my preliminary study of the Gifts (Craftmanship mainly, in the Bible)…

Has led me to understand that not only i, humanity itself (especially Western Society), believes our thoughts, our inspiration, comes from our own selves, only!

My mind, my intelligence, the quickness of it, my memory, failed, and kept failing.

i finally started to acknowledge something was going on, that i knew not.

i spoke, “Lord, only You know what is going on, i do not. i need Your help, You are the only one who can help me, who can heal me.”

i imagined touching His face, while i said it too.

Not intentional imagination, not anymore.

i believe because i use to purposely imagine touching Yeshua, that it happens naturally now, almost as much as i would with a person, physically in front of me. (Almost)

i say this because one of my major love languages is touch.

During disciple training, i did a speech, pointing out how Elohim, Yeshua, does all 5 Love Languages.

He is our Father. My Mother, My Husband, My Best Friend…my Everything.

(Learn to make this so true! In your heart, in your spirit, from shouting to a whisper & back again, for love cannot hide itself.) ๐Ÿ˜€

And He loves even those who hate Him. He will make your enemies bow down, to Him, make them do what He wants, when it comes to those He dearly loves.

We become such a close, intimate, lover, when we spend close, intimate time with Him! ๐Ÿ˜€

He is Our Provider, Our Shepherd, ie: Husband.

For males as well as females.

All of humanity is searching for Him, and the majority know it not.

i asked to be completely satisfied in the Lord.

i asked Him!

To be disatisfied, frustrated, depressed, felt like dishonor.

i ask for help with my unbelief.

These things are worth more than gold & silver, a car, a house, a spouse, friends, children even.

My health, my frame of mind, my peace is dependent on My Everything. โค๐Ÿ’—

Elohim. ๐Ÿ˜


The Holy Spirit.๐Ÿ’˜

Our everything. ๐Ÿ’•

i am paying attention to where He isn’t my Everything.

i am noticing how much fear occupied my life.

It is scary & i wonder how i lived so long, without Him.

Then i remember i didn’t, i wasn’t living, i was surviving!

And that lifeboat was sinking!

Never occurred to me to be so bold after praying. Not like this.

So i am praying for help in this area.

For i desire feeedom!

After a couple of years of praying, fasting on Hallow’s Eve, against the Spirit of Fear (fear is the motivation behind all demonic activity, for in His Presence there is none.

Adam & Eve never experienced fear, until that day.

Eating from the tree of fear, we did, we do! (wow)

Choose a different tree! Different fruit!


A tree without fear. Fruit without fear in it!

Yeshua Provides! ๐Ÿ˜€

(gonna stop & delve into this revelation!)

In Yeshua’s holy name, amen! ๐Ÿ˜€


โ€œYou Can Be Direct Without Being Rude and You Can Be Assertive Without Being Disagreeable.โ€


staying mired in worst-case thinking is probably too high a price to pay just to avoid the small chance that one day Iโ€™ll be blindsided by something. So itโ€™s a bad habit, and Iโ€™d like to get out of it.

people end up less happy โ€“ both at work and in the rest of life โ€“ because they hesitate to speak up about what’s important to them.

you actually can speak up about things that are bothering you at work

What Iโ€™ve tried to do in the new book is to walk people through exactly what those conversations can look like,

book, (by Alison Green)-Ask a Manager: How to Navigate Clueless Colleagues, Lunch-Stealing Bosses, and the Rest of Your Life at Work

June 1, 1921: The Attack on Black Wall Street | Black Then

June 1, 1921: The Attack on Black Wall Street | Black Then
โ€” Read on blackthen.com/june-1-1921-the-attack-on-black-wall-street-concludes-with-more-shootings-bea/

This is why, anywhere in the USA, black people set up, will be destroyed.

No matter how Uncle Tom they are (ie: Oprah, Steve Harvey, Kanye West, all Oreos, etc)

We (they) know this. Tap dance for the money love, bullets to make you dance (OJ Simpson, Bill Cosby, current attack on Morgan Freeman. Plus many other unnamed things, like the murder of Bill Cosby’s son, years ago. Does Morgan Freeman have children?)

Bill Cosby had enough cash to actually buy NBC.

What has happened, the guilty verdict, his confession, etc, is The Killing of Black Wallstreet, modern day, National TV, even OJ.

For it is very interesting to me how many in USA society know technology today, makes it easy to put out a simulation of you, having you say what you would never say.

Yet we believe whatever we see, right?

We are even shown how images can be/are manipulated, replaced, etc.

Yet we believe Michael Jackson said there was nothing wrong with it.

Even though we’ve seen people who look exactly like Michael Jackson, dance, walk & talk like MJ, to the point where even i caught my breath.

Without technology manipulation, USA society knows this.

Yet we still believe what we see and hear, right?

Burning house Kanye, burning house Oprah, burning house Steve Harvey.

The very public lynching of OJ Simpson, because Johnny Cochran Jr? is dead…murdered too.

He would’ve never allowed OJ to be ‘tried again’ in public.

Did Johnny Cochran Jr have any children?

Because Malcolm X aka Maliq El Shabbaz’s grandson, if he is still alive, is blacklisted for life, trying to live a normal life, get a job, etc, out of the question for him.

Even Maliq’s Daughter was ‘entrapped’ by lies.

We will never be free from white supremacy, as long as other Caucasians are not willing, enmass, to be like the ones killed right beside Medgar Evers.

That too, buried.

Help me not ‘dance’ in the flames around me, under my feet Lord.

For desperation, pure desperation, is the only reason that Oreos are needed.

What happens as soon as Oreo ‘ads’ are no longer ‘needed’?

Just like Gamer, no one is meant to survive, yet someone always believes they will be…what, Spartacus?

For he was killed too.

So, that is the death i choose. Spartacus. (betcha Sparta had a lot of black in them).

Like Christ Himself, who too was lied upon, tortured and murdered, just like Black Wall Street was/is, today.

All the victims of any type of supremacy worldwide?

Remember who/what is actually behind all of this…

For we will never be free from supremacy until we take responsibility for it personally!

Rooting out anything in us, that we don’t even know of, that is against the Holy Spirit.

We do this by be willing to hear & see what we do not want to, from Yeshua Himself.

Far too many of us are ‘comfortable’ where we are, with how things are.

Nothing is how it should be.

How the Holy Spirit wants it to be.

Not how we believe He wants it to be.

For none of us are free of the Spirit of Control. We are either Jezebel or Ahab, in some way.

i pray about this, in myself.

To allow the Holy Spirit to use me freely.

For any desire i have to control, if it doesn’t happen the way i expect…

the Lord, the Holy Spirit allows me to see and hear many things about myself, i didn’t want to.

Good & bad things.

Who else is willing to do such everyday?

Who else is willing to hear & see what they do not want to, from the Holy Spirit, about themselves?

Like Isaiah i say, ” I will Lord!”

It’s been a doozy.

My Lord shows me, me, with the Love & Trust we have established between us.

My loyalty, my dedication, the Holy Spirit has gained from me.

My eternal devotion.

Allow the Holy Spirit to develop deeper trust with you!

Begin by giving more personal time with Yeshua, just enjoying His Presence.

By Breathing In Yeshua, Breathing Out.

You take time to breathe.

Start by being grateful for each breath for as long as you can, purposefully, consciously saying it in your head.

Just an example.

It is easy.

You will see how effective this is, when everything else tries to stop you, interrupt you, rush you.

This is meditating on Christ, with Christ.

Without any paganistic forms of meditation (ie: Yoga, etc)

Even though, my body is dedicated to Christ, being aware of paganistic programs is helpful, asking for His forgiveness while i do yoga for instance.

This is for you Lord!

Is sufficient.

Watching a film with cursing in it, i repeated words of life instead, and prayed to be relieved of this addiction to media such as this.

(An example of taking Yeshua with me, IN my sin!)

You will feel it.

The more we share our hearts with Him, the more He gives us a new heart in return.

In Yeshua’s holy name, amen.

I Cut Netflix!

<clutching my heart & gasping for air!>

Done this before and i didn’t do well!

i am addicted to movies!

Not TV!


This time i pledge to replace the movie desire, everytime it comes up with… with?


Something i neglect often,

my artistic self.

Pinterest will be my new Netflix! ๐Ÿ™‚

(trading one addiction for another? YES! Like Methadone off of Heroin!)

The withdrawls are real!

Thank goodness i do not have a digital converter or any tv subscription service!

And there are other free ways for me to watch a movie or tv. Of which i will strive to limit to eating times & late…ok screw that!

For i know better than to attempt two changes at the same time!

Breathe! In Christ, Breathe Out!

(panic attack again (anxiety/stress)

For this meme keeps bothering me:

i’ve posted this quote before.

Just this meme/quote has me seeing how much i’m still striving to please others!

From housekeeping to…

Ok, just the housekeeping for now.

For i have also ran across this:

Being accused of procrastination really hurts.

Yet, it is not procrastination or rather, “What is behind the fear?”

It is all the things i wasn’t ‘allowed’ to do!

Clutter is frustration!

Hence stress, depression & anxiety!

I am still living with the restrictions of my childhood!

For i’ve been re-thinking housekeeping lately.

I’m like, ‘Why don’t i apply my innovation (that i have in business ideas (artistic ones too)) to housekeeping?’

Adding that these ideas may become profitable in themselves as a motivator.

For there is waaay too much anxiety, stress and depression around my financial situation!

i tell myself to hand it over to Yeshua and i find it so hard to do!

i hand over the momentary anxiety & stress of my finances to Yeshua, the Holy Spirit.

Yet, i’m on my hands and knees in pain!

This pain i find difficult to remove.

To let go of. To scoop up and hand over!

i don’t even want to touch it!

i can’t!

For i am too busy reacting to this festering, septic, gangrene wound spreading in my abdomen!

i stagger with these thoughts, while the Holy Spirit reminds me of another time i felt this way.

How long it took for it to go away, the stages of it.

This ‘poor mentality’, this life, this mindset, is akin to the wounds of sexual abuse.

At least for me.

Similar difficulty of letting go.

Letting go of the anger is step one.

By admitting i have it, concerning my income, has me reeling, at the depths of it, the implications.

The key is allowing onself to feel the rage, without judging it…the thoughts and feelings that go with it.

For i am also angry with myself.

I am facing all of my anger about this.

To not be afraid of acting in this anger?

Is a testimony to the inner workings of Christ, within me.

(told ya tantrum time would come in handy!) ๐Ÿ˜€

In/with Christ, Yeshua, i have a safe place.

A place where i can scream, rage and purge despair.

For these things kill me, make me sick, are the root to much of my dis-ease-s.

Rage and despair are the roots to many diseases.

Of humanity.

In Christ, i can release these things, i remind myself. He gently reminds me, touches me.

Makes me sane.

This is why it is vital that we get our relationship with Christ fixed first!

Abandon everything!

Sacrifice all things, for 5 min of …

Purging with Christ.

Or just Breathe In Yeshua, Breathe Out.

For parts of me have grown cold and still with all this talk…

Me taking my own advice (of Breathing in Christ) made me see that.

Fear so deep, one forgets to breathe, like bugs do, like rodents do…play dead, stop moving.

Or because the gangrene hurts my ribs.

All this visualization, helps me get my hands on this rage.

No longer just angry, rage. Insane with it, better than depression, despair.

i can safely experience this due to Yeshua, hallelujah!

There are other steps.

Yet i must remain here, with me touching my rage.

For i need to see how deep it goes, i need to know why i am in this much pain, where it’s coming from, the root of it.

To allow the Holy Spirit to show me, because i don’t want to.

i’m scared to.

Yet these are feelings i have acquired B.C.

i remind myself, He touches me gently again.

Communicating without words.

For they would hurt too much.

TY Yeshua, ty Yeshua.


Does Every Senior Leader On Your Team Have A Backup?


Assume aliens came down and one of your senior leaders was taken away to their home planet. Do they have a person reporting to them who could step into their role, even if itโ€™s only temporary?

Itโ€™s remarkable to me, even in companies that are over 100 people, how the answer to this question is no.

(more at the site in link above)

Totally agree Feld Thoughts!

(and check this link out too!ย https://www.startuprev.com/ย has cool stuff like: #FoundersFirst, Make Covenants Not Contracts)

This is one of the many things missing in the business world! We care more for machines (our tech) than we do a human being! (for we hard copy and digitally back up everything right? We need to! Electricity is not forever! Contingency plan folks! Viruses and all!)

So how important are the humans who run the business?

What would happen if they suddenly vanished? Died? Got too sick to work? Some other emergency?

I know that when someone close to me passes away, that affects me, there is Grief Relief in the workplace.

Set it up like the military, for business is a type of war folks.

Command structure, replacement troops, etc.

Rotate! Help prevent fatigue and stress! The number one cause of failure in the business world. Help prevent the addiction called workaholism! ๐Ÿ˜€

As Christians, this should be our goal, to bring the Rest and Peace of the Lord of the Sabbath to every part of our lives- work included.

There are too many, who are literally starving, physically and spiritually.

So i understand the desire to be the one. (only one)

It’s something i am bringing up more and more, how to actually Rest in the Lord.

It is amazing to me how many Christians don’t feel this!

How many of us are not using our faith in ever area of our lives!

Employed by atheists, obviously.

I think it is more like Capitalism, the Business world is run by atheists.

More like False Christians.

You own a company? Do you?

Want to run one? Start one?

One that actually protects and supports like Christ? A company like that? A business?

Would truly be competitive today.

For i say better customer service, better employee treatment, etc…in the view of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, do you actually ‘hear’ me? Do you see?

Or are you another with a dusty bible? A hardening heart? Under the curse of the lawless?


For many are literally dying! Physically and spiritually, from fatigue and stress!

Act like you care more about Christ than money for a change!

This is what i mean by we will be judged MORE for HOW we treat each other (ourselves) than anything else…by Christ.

It’s never ‘just business’!

Everything is a part of life and so Christ can and will be in it, in Yeshua’s holy name!

The more we (you) (i) listen and obey Christ in the smallest of things, the more we will experience all the attributes (the benefits) of Christ in the big things.

Just reading, listening, studying, focusing on the bible, changes everything!

The Word is phenomenal! Stop copying the world’s ways, by Breathing In Christ, breathe out all the things not of Him.


Feel the difference? ๐Ÿ˜€

i know i do.

(P.S.-Also, these very simple actions will cause a tremendous negative reaction from the devoid. It means what you are doing is/will be very effective! Be encouraged by this! Cry out to Yeshua for help! and leap! Fly Phoeni! Fly!) ๐Ÿ˜€

Sprint & T-Mobile Merging Is Bad


T-Mobile has been a shining example of what can happen when there is an incentive to stay competitive. The company nearly got acquired by AT&T in 2011, but when the deal fell through after being challenged by the Department of Justice and Federal Communications Commission, T-Mobile started to change its approach.

(Yeah! i thought it did happen! Yeah! Cell phone companies suck , yet AT&T? is the worst!)

Merges are almost always a bad sign folks!

Because it means those businesses are in trouble (weak) & they need to strenghten themselves.

This is why you will hear more & more about mergers, as time goes on!

For things are really bad economically, when major companies merge.

When seemingly strong companies are being ‘forced’ to merge (ie: Qualcomm) you need to ask yourself why!

Poor Canadians? I betcha they get better stuff with/for their expense too!

Want to be ”passed-over”, during this crumbling of the United States?

One needs to ‘remove’ onself, your mind, your business, away from the way the devoid does business!

By putting Christ back in everything you are anywhere near!

In spirit & in thought.

We are spreading the Blood of the Lamb, on everything, when we do this!

These things will be protected! More importantly you will be! And hopefully, anyone & anything else you care about.

Saved, protected, doesn’t mean it/you will not die or it not be physically destroyed.

Saved & protected by Elohim, by Yeshua, by the Holy Spirit, means,

hell will not have you, you will be bubble wrapped!

Being truly saved means you have the Armour of the Holy Spirit! (Ephesians…10?).

The Belt of Truth, the Shoes of Peace, that Breastplate, will come in handy!

Our Shield will be extremely useful then, as it is now!

That Sword! ๐Ÿ˜€

And some of us are Superb Fighters, with the Armor of Elohim.

Some of us aren’t.

Realize that the Angel Armies, Yeshua’s Command, will be fighting for the Righteous!

We, the Righteous demand a Glorious Death! ๐Ÿ˜€

We want it! We crave it!

For each one of our deaths, empower the others in Yeshua’s holy name! Amen!

Some of us feel this way anyway, those of us who have been waiting for such an obvious spiritual fight. ๐Ÿ™‚

And so, there are Holy Spirit Warriors, who will, who do Stand for those less proficient in fighting utilizing the Holy Spirit, in right-use-ness.

Being attuned, one in Christ, helps us do this!

For far too many will flock to Christ at the last minute!

Those people will still be worthy, in Yeshua’s name.

For even just one, for there will be more than one, who even then rejects Christ, will be truly tragic.

Pray for those outside of your reach.

Like for the entirety of the United States.

The Kingdom of Elohim, rather Yeshua’s Kingdom, needs you to pray for others.

Those who have an abundance of faith?

Use your wealth of faith!

Hopefully we can help prevent the much deserved devastation of the United States, by Elohim, by the Holy Spirit, by Christ.


Who is willing to sacrifice their/your own skin/neck/life to save how many others?

For even just one, under circumstances like that? Coming to Christ because someone else dedicated/prayed themselves, to death in the name of Yeshua?

Lovely way to go! ๐Ÿ˜€

The battle has already been on, it is increasing though, for the devoid has been panicking and the illusions it has created to fool itself, to fool others & you…us?

Those things are failing now, my brothers and sisters.

Notice how you have less time?

Notice how others seem to handle it better than you?

There are many lambs caught up in The Matrix, the Illusion.

And only the ‘winds’ (coming devastation) will release them.

For i too, did not align myself with Christ, until there was nothing left.

Paul and other disciples (i believe) in Asia, were tested in this manner.

(devastation to make all of us despair)

For part of me cries at America’s down fall.

For sometimes the dream was “good”, the intentions were noble, sometimes, i hoped for the best, with this country.

Now i just pray for individuals in the cross fire, for the unaware to become aware, so they can be saved ‘ too.

i pray that i do not ‘lose’ Yeshua, in bitterness, grief , hardheartedness, to come.

that i do not ‘lose’ myself/You, Lord, Elohim, in what is coming.

That i stay with You, oh Lord, my Father.

For things getting rough, is/will be an understatement.

i’ve learned to pray for myself and others, in this way.

For it is too easy to believe we/i am safe & it will never happen to me.

When one is protected by the Holy Spirit, while others are in hell?

We are still devastated .

We can only move on, have a life, have joy, through the Mercy & Grace of the Lord.

For there are so many in pain Lord!

The Empath, The Merciful One, understands.

By the Grace of Elohim go i.

Spirit is everything.

Ones true intention, is in the spirit of it.

Spiritual Warriors unite!

For there are demonic ones to.

Those who defend them unknowingly.

Only Elohim knows. Only Yeshua knows. Only the Holy Spirit will tell us what to do, how and not, in situations like these.

It is not me who decides how.

It is not you either.

This is why we ‘practice’ now.

i desire to fight for/with Elohim, Yeshua, the Holy Spirit, even unaware!

Move me! Use me Lord!

A merger between T-Mobile (Teen Mobile) & Sprint?

Is very close to a snowball in hell.

Pigs flying.

Time to pray when you get a hint of things like this!

(i should’ve prayed when At&t, Verizon & Google met! )

Sprint has been hurting bad! Even their commercials got crazy, interesting how At&t didn’t even try? To get Sprint?

(for i am very aware i do not know everything!) ๐Ÿ˜€

if so, why?

i know Sprint reminds me of MCI…

Oh well! You can tell how much Sprint is/was suffering by how very little stock they own in this merger, Sprint would not just lay down and allow the ‘new’ company to be called T-Mobile, unless!

Like I’ve long suspected, dead-man-walking.

(ty to those who have been teaching ‘proper’ grammar , punctuation, lately-by having mercy on the rest of us!) ๐Ÿ˜€

(i was tutored by a Mathematics Professor once, i drove him to complete frustration! He changed though & told me why.

He said, once i understood ‘why’, i got it.

Too many…scratch that!

We are taught…(ok! scratch that too!)

We are TOLD the rules of things, like grammar, punctuation and spelling, we are never told why!)

Undersand that we are TOLD the ‘rules’ of business, we are not taught why!

Why such rules were made, how they came to be, freedom to change them, comes easier through understanding!

There are political, in other words, ‘socieital’, effects of anything/everything we do.

Understand the viewpoint of your ‘opposition’!

Do not go all ‘criminal minds’ on me!

For the show (& reality), proves that you become what you think!

The Holy Spirit protects us from that!


The KKK.

For me, opposition, a severe one.

i was MGT though, once.

So many years after that i saw similarities!

i began to wonder if someone entered the KKK the way i did the NOI!

Bearing in mind that the NOI do not kill people, there are many black people who would love to, very few who do.

(Gasp! Yes! in actuality very few black people kill other folk. Otherwise there wouldn’t be such a campaign for us to believe otherwise.

That includes gang members.

My illegal activity? Black Activism is illegal, not talking hate speech is illegal, as well.)

White folk obviously felt threatened and formed a group too.


So i see ALL of their groups differently now.

I can ‘see’ how i am viewed.

i understand the value of what I’m doing, better because of it!

The Holy Spirit shows me fearful humans, has me have compassion for that.

Doesnt mean i’m praying for any member of the KKK, Skinhead, Aryan Nation or some other white supremacist.

Just i ain’t hating like i use to.

At&t? Greedy, self-serving, deadly company?

my thoughts about them are transforming as i type this!

Hallelujah ! ๐Ÿ˜€

To move from fear, panic, anxiety, anger to…

Seeing glimmers of how Elohim will ‘work’ this?

i’d rather ‘eat’ of this, have this be my ‘work’, than all the money in the world!

For revelations like this are much sweeter than gold, yes, much fine gold! ;-D

The Land of Milk & Honey?

Be very careful in taking on labels that were exclusively for Elohim.

For the consequences are severe.

The longer such consequence does not come?

The mighter the retribution shall be!

in Yeshua’s holy name, amen.

The Way We Define Productivity Can Kill Us


Traditionally, productivity is measured in terms of the rate of output per unit of input โ€” being able to count, increase and improve the tangible products of your efforts.

The consequence of equating this productivity with success means that only those things you produce which can be sold or consumed by others grant you a sense of accomplishment.

(EXACTLY! And sooo wrong too! Even though i ‘know’ this, i too didn’t stop until my body made me stop! After the 5th (!) breakdown!)

I propose another way of defining productivity: one that is rooted in the effects of our action but not in the artefacts we create.


To find this alternative definition, I scoured dictionaries and thesauruses and made a surprising discovery: the etymology and definition of โ€œproductivityโ€ and โ€œproductโ€ already contain the ingredients we need for a new recipe of productivity.

Words like โ€œeffectโ€ and โ€œresult,โ€ which can embrace activities such as supporting a colleague on a hard day or learning a new skill.

Words like โ€œactionโ€ and โ€œoutcomeโ€ which can include intangible concepts like communication, gratitude, patience, and self-reflection.

(This is what the Lord tries to tell me!

Except i have this thing that brings up bad images when i think: ‘Self-gratification’!)

(imagine painting for the joy of painting (instead of thinking about how much it’s worth, people’s reactions to it, to me…)

(How can painting be joyful then? Especially since one has to overcome years of negative thinking about drawing/painting in the first place?! The anxiety (fear) kills the joy!)

To illustrate the need for this complementary way of considering productivity, ask yourself the following questions:

(i’m liking this!)

(especially as a blogger!) ๐Ÿ™‚

In deciding whether or not Iโ€™ve been productive, I now consider how fairly invisible actions or thoughts cause similarly abstract changes in my surroundings. This has been particularly noticeable to me in the way I manage my team. I often hear these kinds of complaints:

โ€ข Iโ€™ve not made anything today because I spent the day training someone else

โ€ข I donโ€™t have time for a team activity because I need to be productive

โ€ข I didnโ€™t get as much done as I wanted to because I was learning something new

(really? This is what we do to ourselves though! Effectively saying/acting like we don’t have time for anyone else (or anything else besides activities quantifiable by ‘others’!)

Every day, I try to set the example that seemly idle activities can have incredible consequences.

Recently, during a team retrospective meeting, we came to the joint conclusion that the biggest achievements weโ€™ve made this year have been in learning to support each other.

(This is what gets lost in the demon-eat-demon world.

Even outside of business ‘Christians’ have a difficult time supporting each other, in Yeshua’s holy name.

Like someone said i would buy your products.

My only thought was why that person would.

A quid pro quo.

You scratch my back, i’ll scratch yours, type of thing.

Which i do NOT want!

For several reasons.)

Helping one another, creating shared ideas, offering help, taking time to teach one another-

(These things are more important to me than ‘making money’ !

Of which i want written into policy!)

Creating the right conditions for trust to flourish takes tireless hard work.

(This is what all Christians desire)

And yet, this kind of work is not traditionally recognised as productive.

Iโ€™m heartbroken to think back to a time when failing to do this made me physically sick.

Taking time to consider the results and consequences of my work,

not just the commodities I create,

means I can now give myself the permission to lead the healthy life I should have led half a decade ago.

It means giving my team permission to consider their whole person when they reflect on their achievements.

(Which means i give myself (& future team) time to not only consider the ‘client’ as a whole person (their extended family & friends), gives us time to support the ‘client’ as a whole person with connections, that need support as well!)

Next time you feel unproductive, I invite you to join me in asking yourself: what effects or consequences have my actions yielded lately?

I assure you, youโ€™ll find something to be proud of.

(i assure you will if that is what you want to look for!

For deprogramming ‘out of’ critical/judgmental/negative thinking/outlook is/can be a lifetime journey!

It’s easier to do surrounded by others desiring to change their outlook and having compassion, understanding & mercy for others who are struggling.

For that forced positivity? The ‘shamed into’ positivity stuff? Is what too many in society do.

Ignoring those who are suffering isn’t the way either!

This is why it’s very important to spend ‘quality’ time with Yeshua!

That Breathe In Yeshua stuff.

That listen to Yeshua’s heartbeat stuff!

First step!

Immersion in your relationship with Christ!

A facilitation of it!

One can only help facilitate such an atmosphere, one cannot ‘make’ a person develop a closer relationship with Yeshua.

I had no clue how to do it myself!

I just cleared time, undisturbed time to do it!

Fully expecting the Lord to guide me!

I got up early, before the sun rose.

Because i thought it was the best thing to do!

The first few times i fell asleep before my ‘hour-with-Jesus’ was up!

I began to feel guilty.

He stopped that in its tracks!

He said, “You needed to rest.”

And indeed, i was more rested, at peace, after my ‘attempts to spend time with Jesus ‘, i realized He was revealing that to me as well!

There was something that made me feel guilty for spending time with Christ!

Enjoying myself!

The Holy Spirit was showing me all of this!

From the ease and comfort of rest!

Resting with Him!

A bubble of comfort.

That bubble wrap i keep speaking of.

So i learned i didn’t have to get up early to ‘Rest’ in the Lord!

I began my time with Jesus right upon waking!

Anytime i closed my eyes!

Then i began inviting Him upon sleeping, and whenever i noticed i needed to just ‘chill’, He was there! Encouraging me to relax! To rest!

So i just went for it!

Reveled in it! In Him!

For the first time in my life i was on a ‘true’ vacation!

And i hated coming back!

Years later i’m discovering that i don’t have to come back!

That i do not have to leave!

I listen now when He says, “Stop.” or “You’ve had enough.”

Then words became ‘feelings’, nudges, images, slighter, softer, gentler!

Till His voice, the Holy Spirit’s voice, is a clear murmur! Based on a flash of an image, a curve of understanding (insight).

i thank Him profusely.

i even remember when that joyous ecstasy feeling dropped!

i thought something was wrong and He smiles!

Have you ever felt someone smile?

In a good way?

You can ‘hear’ their smile! You can see it, feel it, even.

Especially when you smile in response!

From joyous ecstasy to cherished!

Love and joy so familiar, it’s just home, ya know?

A place where you are secure, safe in the ‘knowing’ you are loved!

Eagerly sought, joyously received, every single time! ๐Ÿ˜€

This is why the Holy Spirit is my Husband!

Yeshua led me to this! To Him! Hallelujah!

He, Yeshua, the Messiah, can and will do this for you too!

Not in the same exact way. Your complete, trusting surrender, may even be ‘processed’ differently! (different emotions)

i am so ever grateful!

For even now i ‘rev up’ into that rush-rush mentality…

its just it happens less and less now.

Anxiety almost nonexistent! Hallelujah!

Priorities changed.

i ‘heed’ more now, listening to a deeper level of ‘guidance’.

Stuff i thought was me, stuff previously ignored, shoved aside.

‘Watching’ my response to things i never reflected on before!

All due to the Holy Spirit’s guidance, alhumdulillah.

Go in peace. ๐Ÿ˜€

in Yeshua’s holy name, amen! ๐Ÿ˜€